Discipline

Starting work in the afternoons is new to me. I don't want to waste the mornings so I am trying to discipline myself to get up and get out. There is a contradiction in place; I am not good in the mornings, I find it very hard to get out of bed if I have nothing to do. This has to change. Mornings are amazing, beautiful, ethereal and spiritual, when I do get up and get going, I feel a real sense of satisfaction. Above all the winter months are dark, and it is in the mornings that I can get some Vitamin D. This is important for me as I suffer from depression so it is very easy for me to feel unmotivated and struggle to find a reason to get out of bed.

The beginning of this year has seen a change in my attitude. My new job has made me happier, it is relaxed and I love the people I work with. It is a small business with only 8 members of staff and I'm finding that it is perfect for me. I feel very lucky. 

So after settling into my new job, I have now started to live a healthier lifestyle. I love cycling, though I'm not in the enthusiast league, I just cycle for the pleasure of it. Walking is great too, but when I'm walking I feel more lonely. Walking for me is better if I am with other people. I did start to walk with a group last year; we walk once a month. But Mary, our organiser has been ill this January so she was unable to lead us in our walk. 

I have also decided to cut out lots of sugar from my diet. I need to lose weight and it will also help me to feel more healthy. It has been 10 days now since I had a bar of chocolate, a biscuit or a piece of cake and I feel much better for it. I have already lost 4lbs which I am ecstatically happy about. I never had. any problems with weight until I reached my 50's. Everything slowed down and I didn't like it. I have become lazy, not getting enough exercise and this is what I really want to change. 

I am also determined to be creative. Since I achieved my Degree in 2013, I haven't been able to find any inspiration to be creative. My own fault. Creativity is in the doing and I haven't felt in the least bit motivated. I wanted to do something but I just didn't feel able. So now, this too has to change. I have set up a corner of my little home and last night began my Visual Journal. My plan is to look at local newspapers for any story or article that captures my interest. I'm looking for some local history that I can research. This may lead me to something completely different...who knows, but it is somewhere to start. Nothing will come to something.

For a long time I have the idea to publish a book using my photography and writing some kind of story... factual as opposed to fictional. It will take time but if I don't start, it will never be done. It is something that I feel I'm being called to do. Why, I have no idea. But I guess the why will come with the journey and I will fall upon an idea that will develop. 

This morning I cycled to Wiseman's Bridge. It is my local beach and it is changing all the time. Today the rough seas of the last few days have pushed the stones and pebbles into wave like structures. It is interesting to note everyday appears different. Many of our beaches are being covered in large and small rocks and pebbles, the sand is disappearing and the erosion is happening fast. 

The sea was scary today. I sat and watched as the tide was turning. I felt a sense of fear, it was so loud and the waves felt as though they were in attack mode. I think the tsunamis that have devastated many a shore over the past years have lodged themselves in my mind and I am always fearful that a huge wave will come and there would be nothing I could do. 

Mobile Pictures from this morning at Wiseman's Bridge

They don't really tell the story of a rough, loud sea.....best I could do with my Mobile Camera!

I always look our for faces or shapes in the pebbles and rocks. This one caught my eye, so sweet, sleeping perhaps, smiling..... I call them my pebble friends.