Some possible project ideas.....

Fascination with the dark .... spirits.... atmosphere...cinemas........theatres ..... dark places.....

Faces........idea from Sally Mann What Remains ..........her series on Death ended with faces ....my idea to use faces as an ending to my connection with Wales, the land and my ancestors?

Exploring Home

A selection of images shot with the Lubitel 166B, Mamiya RB and Diana F Lomo Cameras.

Black and White and Colour 120mm Film

Experimentation, Exploration, Searching ........

Llanfallteg, West Wales, my home village from 1960 - 1978

Two of the images have light leaking through the camera seals (RB67) ... this is annoying and disappointing. I need to repair this.  

Picture Making in my Home Village of Llanfallteg

Today was a day for picture making. The ground was white with frost, the air was clean and crisp. I wanted to immerse myself in the memory of the place that was my home for the first 18 years of my life.

As I sat on the train heading west, the beauty that surrounded me was magnificent and emotive. Magnificent in its sheer presence, and emotive in that I recalled memories that had, for a long time been forgotten. Feelings of times past flooded my whole being bringing with them tears of grief for people long lost. The poignancy of each moment of warm greeting as I would have stepped off the train, now a longing for it once more.

But heading on to Saundersfoot where my sister was meeting me, brought me back to the present, and the joy of once again being in the embrace of my family, knowing that we would enjoy each others company and reminisce the shared days, and the remembered days.

When we arrived in Llanfallteg, we took a familiar path to the bridge that crossed the river Taf. I shot pictures of whatever caught my eye, the white beauty of the frost, the branches, the twigs heaped in a pile at the side of the bank, the 200 year old tree still standing as I remember it. We walked through the fields, no cows or bulls today to stand and stare at us; my memory clear that there had always been cows and bulls, standing side by side, making a path so there was no choice but to walk between them.  I wouldn't be true to say that I was ever comfortable in their presence, but I noticed their absence keenly.

On to the gate leading on to the old Roman Road, and up to the Mill, now brazenly adorned with a For Sale sign. Up further to where once stood the Mansion, where we glided down the once magnificent stairs, now gone and in its place an ugly bungalow. I have a photo somewhere of the old mansion taken in the 1970, I must dig it out. The mansion gates still there but no composition I attempted seemed to work. There was too much new leaf, the site was too dark and shadowy, the gates almost obliterated by shiny overgrowth, there was too much of today in the picture of it. I decided to leave it; but I may return and try again another day.

Down the hill still further, I came to another bridge where the stream is  now a tangled shrubbery of thistle; once this was a wooded area where we used to play and climb trees. Here I fell, tumbling down when a branch snapped, giving way under my weight. Winded, unable to move, a piercing pain in my wrist, I lay awhile, my immediate thought, what would my mother say! She would be livid I'd been climbing trees. Whether she would have been angry I don't really know, I suspect not. But she could be strict and had "the look"that I avoided at all costs in my youth. I told no one what had happened until a week later when the pain grew too much to bear. I had to admit what had happened, my wrist by now was swollen badly. My mother screeched "why didn't you say." We got in the car, drove to the hospital, an xray, a fractured bone, bandaged. I still have a weak wrist to this day. Always a reminder of the fall, the emotion, and the pain of that day.

There were several other places of memory I could have visited, but that was enough for today. I'll wait to see the results before deciding if I should go back and shoot some more.

Roger Scruton Interview - Beauty and Consolation

http://youtu.be/YLSGQQygsI8

ROGER SCRUTON YOUTUBE VIDEO BEAUTY AND CONSOLATION

The following are the words of Roger Scruton meant for research only. These are not my words. I have not written them in the precise coherent manner that they were spoken.

She embodied some of the serenity that I was looking for. What is the relationship between the hunt and the interview? A return to some kind of natural condition that civilised man has removed himself from; detached himself from the search for beauty; to rediscover that condition that we were once in. Being part of one species and not being an individual. Consolation comes when one relaxes into the species life. We lose our individuality together. The horse has always been part of that. The hunt has a beauty “how but in custom and in ceremony are innocence and beauty born” ceremonial event that death itself becomes part of the ceremony. Without the consciousness of death there cannot be beauty. It is an attempt to revitalise our experience of beauty.

Consolation is something that human beings seek. Other animals are in need of shelter, warmth and food. It is a sense of being fully at home in the world. Most of our lives we are not fully at home. Were detached from what we truly are. Homecoming is important to maintain ourselves. Individual pleasure, success, these put us at variance to ourselves. There’s a need in us to rest and put us back in our home for peace and reconciliation. Being at peace with the world and therefore with ourselves. We are the only animals with a religious sense, our life needs to be complete, and that it’s not here but in the beyond. To understand our desire for our consolation we must look at our roots in a religious sense. The roots of religion lie deep in us.  There is in all of us a need to establish a connection with something greater than us. Being part of a drama, the drama of one’s own life, and united with others beyond the living. Modern people have been nomadised by their civilisation, they have been set in motion, ease of movement from one relationship to the next, thought to thought, entertainment to entertainment, nothing keeps them still, but there is an urge within them to rest to be attached to the place that is theirs, and the people that are theirs. Our sense of the divine is a recognition that we cannot create this sense of home on our own. The tragedy of our society is that we have lost it (being part of the species).

Fox hunting is symbolic -  making themselves at home, establishes a claim on home (the species), deeper in their species than day to day entertainment. Touches what is most urgent in our being. Outside everyday activity when we are at rest with our world. We are hunter gatherers; our sense of unity comes with that hunter gatherer species. Reaffirms your place with a particular place in a particular time.

People no longer dwell on the earth, they move from place to place, searching. “Only if we learn how to dwell can we build and only if we build can we live with each other.”(Heidegger) Modern architecture is hideous built for nomads who seep through it like a wind and disappear. Every serious idea is dangerous. Peaceful existence as a form of being. In all of us there is a desire for home coming. Consolation resides. We have ventured out and then coming back and being part of a social order that is bigger than us.

Relationship between horse and rider, horse and hound is a beautiful one of animal joy. How we relate to the animal in us. One way is to deny it. Another way is to allow it to dominate us. The indulgence of appetite above everything else. My own view is that you should not deny it but that you should let it give added poignancy to it. Romantic love is a good example, a cultural achievement of our age. Literature is an effort to lift the erotic experience out of the animal realm and making it into a kind of spiritual principle setting it in stained glass. Returned to the animal experience and recreating it at the unconscious level transforming it into something that is aware of itself.

Purity and childhood. Sense of Arcadia. I had nothing to go back to so I had to create it for myself.

Discussing beauty and consolation Roger Scurton talks about our deep desire for homecoming.  My home is created by books and music in the middle of the countryside with people doing things with animals.

Rojer Curston … it’s your 70 years and it’s up to you to live them well. These 70 years are eternal. They will always be your 70 years.

What really matters is to be serene, to know that you are important and not important.  To know that there are others who are far more interesting than me.

I  am "I".

People live in a tiny time slice of the modern world.

Emmanuel Kant

Begins with raw experience.  Intuition is immediately given to us in experience. We use concepts to make sense of our intuition concepts are rules synthesis (a unified whole resulting from the combination of different ideas, influences, or objects)

Passions of the body at odds with reason.

You should only do something if you thought that everyone could do it all of the time - universality

You should never manipulate anyone, ever. Kant thought that the greater good is irrelevant.  You should always tell the truth whatever the circumstances - you are only responsible for your own choices.

Philosophy raises questions it doesn’t give answers.

Notes on Liz Wells "Land Matters" Chapter 1

The land is important, business relating to land, substance of the land, soil chemistry.
How photography engages with the land
Representation and Idealisation
Landscape as romantic or Topographic
Political, Social, Environmental
Culture, History and Attitudes
Human Intervention
Intervention of Nature - natural changes

"Vistas encompassing both nature and the changes that humans have affected on the natural world" (pg 2)

Relation to the landscape and environment

Memory and Experience
Our response is a complex tapestry

Space and Place (pg 2)
To Landscape, Landscaping

WJT Mitchell "Landscape and Power"
To impose a certain order
Space - Expanse of land
Space to think
Living Space
Distance between areas

Jacques Derrida - French Philosopher
to touch the void is to risk the trauma of uncertainty
Naming is taming
To name represents comprehension
Naming turns space into place
Wilderness or outer space has not been named, inhabited, known

Photography involved in detailing environments - helping culture to appropriate nature (pg 3)
"Photographers have a responsibility to consider how we picture, to reflect upon the implications of thinking through the visual." (pg 4)

Topopholia - human desire for comfort or familiar spces come to reassure.

Depth of sensory response; explores how art enhances experience.
Viewing art is more than more representation (pg 4)

Julia Kristeva - French Philsopher
Suggests that the systematic disrupts the poetic (pg 5)
The feminine operations of poetic interfere with patriarchal social order (pg 5)
Association of mascline with culture, and the feminine with nature.
Culture/Nature Feminine/Masculine - interelated

Nature is both internal and fundamental to what constitutes us as human, and "out there" in what we experience the external world through the senses, including sight (pg 5)

Renes Descates Cartesian theory - separation of the mind and body
Experience sensation; rational mind retains an observational and analytic stance (pg 5)

"Photographs cannot replicate the multi sensual actuality of the out of doors, but they do offer some form of imaginary substitute .... memories of actual physical experience and mediated experience are complexly inextricably entwined" (pg 44)

Picture Making Ideas

Feet on the Ground .... Grounded in the Wales of my Ancestors

Hands in the Air .... Reaching out to those who have gone before

Ashes ..... Earth ....

Forgotten Footsteps ....

Tea ....

Personal Objects of Memory .... still life .... on the land .... in the landscape

Coming Home .... return to the place of my birth ..... changes .... sameness .... the village ...changed ...

Old photos of my village ..... compare .... layer ....

Abstract views .... dreamlike views .... then and now .....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?NR=1&v=Bx6P19dinkw&feature=endscreen

VIVA

I was concerned that I had no portfolio prints to show, and that my projects have not developed as I would have liked by this time in the academic year. Both lecturers were very supportive and said that they could see that I have been researching, reading and working, and that my visual diary shows my struggles.
It was suggested that I look again at Sally Mann's video "What Remains" as it could help my development and thinking.

My concerns about my work being traditional and pictorial were addressed.  They stressed that there is nothing wrong with this style, the important aspect of the process is that I need to explain why I photograph in this way. However the images that I have shot with the Diana F are more interesting and less traditional. They said it would be a good idea to continue shooting with all my cameras and that the more traditional could be put together with the less traditional. Also that images I plan to shoot of my "moving" that is images of the as yet unpacked boxes, the process of unpacking, images of personal objects... these could be placed together with images I shoot of the exterior landscape. I like this idea. I think it could work well. It is now my priority to immerse myself in picture making using my Medium Format 67 Mamiya Camera, my twin lens Mamiyaflex camera and the Diana F. I am going to enjoy the picture making process and not worry about or think too much about what I do shoot.

The lecturers also agreed that it might be beneficial for me to have a tutorial with Andrea Liggins. Andrea uses plastic cameras and is a keen landscape photographer. This would be very interesting for me and I know I would learn a lot from her because her ideas and skills would be a great advantage to my learning.

This session helped me to think more positively about my work and it has motivated me to once again enjoy my artistic development. I had forgotten to enjoy the process and had filled myself with fears. I need to find that belief in myself that I had achieved by the end of the Foundation Degree. I believe that I can do this.

There is still enough time for me to work towards achieving a good BA.

These are two of the images I shot with the Diana F

Searching through the Darkness (1)

Searching through the Darkness (2)

Hana Janeckova - Visiting Lecture

Art and Self Censorship. Does Art need to stand for something?

http://www.redrawingthemaps.org.uk/blog/?p=295

Hana Janeckova began her lecture with the consideration of China as a contradiction. She has lived and worked in Beijing for two months this year researching the countries art and artists. She stated that all of the Public Art is strictly controlled by the State.  It has to be approved before it can be shown. But the State does not, in her eyes, seem to censor art in the way that she had expected it too. The reason for this, is that the art in China is a financial commodity and brings its own rewards to the country. The images in Beijing are somewhat humorous as they often depict perfect blue skies. The reality is that pollution levels in Beijing are extremely high and Hana commented that as soon as she stepped off the pane, she could smell the pollution in the air.

Public Art Irony .... surfing the net ... not all search queries can be accessed e.g. no reference to or image of the People's story of the Tienamen Square Massacre can be found n China. People born after this event have no knowledge of it unless it is the State side of the story. 

Beijing has a huge art scene, with art villages populated by as many as 7000 artists.

China has been ruled by a Communist Government since 1949, the country is saturated in the colours of the communist flag, red and yellow. There is propaganda everywhere, the people are ignorant of any other way of life as they are constantly bombarded with these images; information is censored. In the West, we are well aware of the history of Tienanmen Square, but young people in China are oblivious to their own history. Any mention or image of the atrocities that occurred in 1989 is shrouded in secret. I still have a very vivid memory of the young man who stood in front of a tank refusing to move in protest of the closed political inequalities that have existed in China for decades.

But its own people have no knowledge of these brave men and women who tried to stand up for their rights. China have offices in place where people sit and deny access to any words that are searched on google or any other search engines.

An example of censorship in today's society is that all Hollywood Productions have been banned in China this year. The films can of course be accessed by those with wealth through a private computer system, but the majority of the people in China do not have the privilege of buying this system; they do not have the financial means to afford this kind of equipment. The masses can be said to be kept in the dark.

Art in China can be said to have a different role compared to art in the west. Art in China does not interfere with political life, it is relegated to that of product. Art in the west speaks to us and can inform our views. It is also considered a product in the west, but it can and does have an affect on the way we think.

Notes from Dissertation Tutorial

During my tutorial today we discussed the question of focus and lack of focus. I have been thinking about Uta Barth's work which concentrates on the act of looking ....

Of her work she says “the question for me is always how can I make you aware of your own activity of looking instead of losing your attention on the thought about what it is that you are looking at” (Higgs, 2004: 36)

Focus implies certainty, unfocused implies being out of control.
Visual language is about a kind of control. 

The relationship between the traditional role of vision of the landscape, and how it influences contemporary photography.

Photographers - Ansel Adams and Jem Southam - How we represent the landscape
Ansel Adams view of an almost idyllic landscape
Jem Southam returns to the same space and photographs the landscape changes that take place

What is the difference between the male and female vision of the landscape - do I know what this is?
Male Vision - detail, the view as it is seen in front of the eye
Female Vision - an emotional, social, political response and a more abstract visual language

Suggested reading John Taylor "A Dream of England"

Other suggested reading Liz Well, "Land Matters" first chapter

CULTURE SHOW BBC2 WED 5TH DEC 12

RICHARD WILSON

"hang on a minute lads, I've got a great idea" Michael Caine in The Italian Job.

Image courtesy of guardian.co.uk

Richard Wilson's Site specific sculpture of a bus hanging off a building in Bexhill is an art piece that looks again at the world we take for granted. He takes objects from the real world that have a reference point, and that already have a relationship with the public. The bus from the film "The Italian Job" is a piece that people identify with, and is an iconic image. Architecture if true doesn't move, but this sculpture teeters off the edge of a building and appears as if it will fall off. The artist states that this is a snap shot view of things. There is an element of humour, and also it is a magical moment. People are siezed by the moment, they stop and look because this is something that is unsettling and unusual.


YAYOI KUSAMA

http://www.tate.org.uk/whats-on/tate-modern/exhibition/yayoi-kusama

Yayoi Kusama lives voluntarily in psychiatric institution. At 83 years old her art challenges, dazzles or stuns. Exhibited at the Tate in June 2012 Yayoi Kusama is known as the Princess of Polka dot. Her work has consisted of abstract paintings, collages, films, fashion and poetry. They are joyful works deceptively rooted in dark life experiences.  Patterns are endlessly repeated, obsessional in their creation. The artist suffered childhood trauma  and has said that  "if it were not for art, I would have killed myself a long time ago"

Her art are acts of recreating hallucinations as a way of dealing with her past, and her obsessive behaviour. Kasuma's work is all enveloping to the viewer; she confronts her innermost fears. They are immersive environments of repetition. Andy Warhol, three years after seeing Kusama's art, created a wall paper that can be seen as inspired and influenced by her. Her work can be said to remind us of Jackson Pollack's own art, but his work is an assault on the senses, whereas Kusama's work is more enveloping.

The piece that Kusama created for The Tate, mirrored walls reflecting bulbs in different colours, are of an infinity and perhaps a place beyond infinity. It is an exquisite piece that  surrounds us with calm.  Maybe, at the age of 83, Yayoi Kusama has now resolved her fears and is embracing life and that life beyond infinity.

Tutorial with Eva

I had my first tutorial with Eva today and I'm very glad that I did. I have been very concerned that my projects are not developing as I would like them too. I sat with Eva for about an hour and she listened and made constructive suggestions as to how I could move forward.

External Project

We talked about the possibility of having an Exhibition at St Ishmael Church, entering Competitions,  placing adverts in the other Churches and Chapels in Ferryside as an opportunity to photograph weddings etc, keeping an eye on the University emails for voluntary photographic opportunities, and a Day Event being held in Swansea in January where photographers are needed to document the event. As Christmas is nearing, it would also be a good idea to keep an eye out for any other events that may be taking place.

I have been reluctant to put myself forward to photograph events etc as I seem to have had a "crisis of confidence" in the past few months. I think the reason for this, is that having recently moved from Plymouth to Carmarthenshire, I have found the transition quite stressful, and of course, one of the things I had not thought about was the relationships and contacts that I had made in Plymouth over the past three years. It has all seemed a little daunting and disheartening to have to begin again. But I must try and overcome this now if I am to have any success with this part of my BA.

Personal Project

After discussing with Eva my concepts for my previous projects during the Foundation Degree, I realised that I need to do the same for this years' projects. That is to think about my own daily life, the way I have been feeling, and what has been happening in my life recently. Of course, I have moved, and this has been my focus. Eva suggested that I might like to photograph the items I still have in my boxes as yet unpacked. This could work as I explained that since I returned to Wales, I have been enjoying meeting up with my family, and also getting back in touch with old friends who I have not seen for many years. There has been an expectation from them also, to see and meet up with me.

We discussed that the inherited tea sets and personal objects that I have which are dear to me, could hold a narrative. The tea sets for example have a double meaning. I want to meet and drink tea with family and friends, but I should concentrate on my work and delay these meetings. They also need to understand that I need to focus on my studies; this is my final year and it would be such a disappointment to me if I wasn't successful in achieving my BA.

I had forgotten where my inspiration for my photographic work normally comes from. That for me, the work has to be personal and come from the heart.

At the end of the tutorial, I felt much better and that now I could move forward with my projects. Nothing is of course, ever completely straight forward, and I need to put myself in the zone and find reading sources, other artists who have carried out similar projects, but today I feel that this is now possible.

Free Wrting

FREE WRITING

What is Vision?

To think of vision with regard to landscape, how we see, what we see and why we see the way we do, there are many factors that inform our vision of it. To understand this we have to look at the historical perspective of traditional landscape and the role it has played in the contemporary landscape of photography as it is portrayed today.

The factors we take into consideration are political, social, domestic and personal. The landscape interventions that have taken place over centuries, have disturbed our view. The landscape of today is nothing like it once was.

Our ancestors would have had a completely different view of the landscape. It would have been a more rugged, untouched and unspoilt landscape. Nature would have had most of the control over it.

Today we see very little of how nature intended it to be. Today we see a man made landscape, anothers' idea of how they thought it should look.

But intervention began several millenniums ago. Man made his mark as a sign of occupation and control. Land would have been fought over or allocated to the different tribes or clans of the earth. Granted these early civilised peoples would have had respect for their land and abide by the laws of nature. But it still remains that intervention took place.

Stone circles, drawings, writing are all interventions.

Reading my free writing now, I can see a concept, can I work on this? How can I photograph this concept. find stone circles, find writings, find the areas where people once lived? Where can I go? Are there any such areas in this vicinity where I live? I have to read and research.

Symposium

The University set up a Symposium today where previous Graduates returned to give talks on their experiences of writing dissertations.

This was a good idea and I gained some valuable tips.

• Find a subject that interests you
• Find your voice and make it heard
• Always read and research as much as possible
• Don't be afraid to voice your opinion but always have a plausible argument
• Write small chunks i.e 500 words a week
• Whenever you come across a quote that you like or a piece of writing to paraphrase, keep a note book
• One book will lead to another. 
• Keep lists of anything interesting

All this advice is common sense, but it is surprising how sometimes common sense can get lost when your mind is in the midst of stress and panic!

I sat in for the first half and listened to three speakers. They had given me food for thought.

Cardiff National Museum

http://www.museumwales.ac.uk/en/cardiff

I took the train up to Cardiff yesterday to visit the Art Galleries at the National Museum. I have been in desperate need of inspiration. My projects haven't been going very well. I have been feeling a lack of enthusiasm and motivation. This has happened before during the first year of the foundation degree. But as this is my third and final year, my despondency has been getting me down quite a lot, and depression had begun to set in. My confidence has been waning and my interest in anything, practically non existent.

However I am hoping very much that I have taken a step towards a recovery, and that I can push myself to focus on my work. 

My concept for the Photographic Project is a connection to the land of my ancestral home here in Wales. So far, my picture making just hasn't been working. It has been too controlled, and with little imagination. 

I specifically wanted to view the Impressionists at the Gallery yesterday. Not for any particular reason other than I do love the works of Cezanne, Monet, Pissarro, Renoir and Van Gough. I discovered a female Impressionist whom I had not heard of before. Her name was Berthe Morisot.  

"http://www.museumwales.ac.uk/en/shop/?id=441

Woman and Child in a Meadow at Bougival

http://www.museumwales.ac.uk/en/shop/?id=435

La Parisienne (Blue Lady) Renoir 

Vincent Van Gough Rain Auvers 1890

"Wheat fields under angry skies, and I deliberately tried to express sadness and extreme loneliness in them" quote from Vincent Van Gough

All of these are paintings that I could survey for hours. I looked closely at the brushstrokes for the first time, noticing how depth of feeling can be gained from the light and dark shades of the brush and the hard and soft strokes applied. The colours are delightful and a joy to behold. Even though Van Gough painted Rain Auvers not long before his death, and he states that he wanted to convey his depth of depression and sadness, I still find a quiet stillness in the colours and they do not make me feel sad or lonely or depressed. It is only the black crows in the middle of the painting that to me convey that sense of foreboding. To my eyes, the rain makes me feel alive. If I could use my imagination and creativity like this when I am feeling sad and lonely I would be very happy indeed! But maybe it was the fact that I have been feeling a little depressed that   Van Gough's painting touched me in a positive way.

But back to the purpose of my trip to Cardiff. Inspiration. Everything I saw was an inspiration to me. All art makes me feel privileged and in awe of the skills and genius of the artists. But it was one artist in particular who inspired me most yesterday. That was the work of Mary Lloyd Jones.

Website http://www.marylloydjones.co.uk/

She writes that "My aim is that my work should reflect my identity, my relationship with the land, an awareness of history, and the treasure of our literary and oral traditions. I search for devices that will enable me to create multilayered works.This has led to my involvement with the beginnings of language, early man made marks and the Ogham and Bardic Alphabets."

This was the very sentiment that I have been searching for. My connection with the land of Wales is to do with the culture, language and the history of my own ancestors through many centuries. Ancestors who have lived on the land, worked with the land and intervened on the land.

It is a beginning but if I can work on my Visual Journal and find my identity within these parameters, then I might just find the imagination to portray them photographically. There is time. I have already researched some historical background of Wales, and I have several objects that I could use to convey my thoughts and ideas. 

The language is an important factor, as is my sense of belonging to the land. The Castle at Llansteffan that I see every morning from my window when I wake up, has some significance that I am yet to fathom. But it is part of the past. It is part of me. It stands for something because when I look upon it, I feel something, I see the lives that once lived there, I hear the music of its walls and the spectacle of it is every changing, with each day and each change in the weather. 

Whether this makes sense or not, I don't know. But I can use it to find what I am looking for. I feel more motivated. I feel more alive. I feel now that maybe, just maybe, I have a line of thought.

http://www.marylloydjones.co.uk/gallery/2.html 

Special Places

The variety of the landscape is a continual surprise.

First Crit...

The Crits at Swansea are very different to the ones we had at Plymouth. For me these are tough. The whole group gathers together, and those whose work is being Critiqued, have to put prints up on the wall. The lecturers then discuss the work and ask questions. I did not cope very well with the pressure and stress of the situation.

In Plymouth we had small group crits where we all discussed our own work first, and then had a group discussion about how we could improve, make suggestions etc. Obviously the lecturer sitting with the group would give a critique as well as join in with the general discussion. I found this style of critique was much less stressful and personally more useful.

I found that although I do like to see the other students work, but it isn't a situation where most students speak freely about their work.

Yesterday it was my turn to put my images on the wall. From the outset I felt vulnerable. Sadly my nerves got the better of me and when the lecturers asked me questions about my work, my mind went completely blank. Embarrassing. The lecturers gave constructive criticism. Being at a new University for my third year has been much more difficult than I had anticipated. One suggestion that I do recall, is that it may be a good idea to find letters, or a personal object, to accompany my images to focus my attention on memory, if that's the way I'm going to move forward with the project.

Now that the first 3000 words of the Dissertation have been handed in, I can focus more on my picture making process. Tomorrow I intend to go on a journey to find inspiration. My work is about memory and space ... maybe the punctum ... I'm not sure. But returning to the place of my childhood, will, I know, help me to create something. Whether that something will be an improvement on the images I have already, I can not surmise, but the picture making process is all about failures to reach success. From nothing will come something.

These were the images I put on the wall...

Connection with Ancestral Home

Critique 

Old fashioned... Formalist.... Post Modern .... thousands of similar images found on Stock Photo Libraries.....need clearer concept .... if memory .... need personal items/objects to accompany images ....suggestion that I look at the work called "Fate"  (at the moment that's all I remember)

Retrieving Art College Blog

I've been unable to find this blog
http://penelope-george.blogspot.co.uk/ 
anywhere on my blog account/settings. 
I'm adding a post here so that I can explore previous entries if I need too. 

I may as well add my second year degree blog too as this may have some useful information on.
http://penelope-davies.blogspot.co.uk/

Saturday Morning Meander

Dawn Rising

I have been awake since 4am. When the birds began to sing, I decided that as I was awake, I should go out and greet the dawn with them.

I took my medium format 6x6 cameras with me and hoped to shoot some early morning light. The venture was not as I'd hoped. As soon as I got outside it began to rain, and then I accidentally exposed one of my films, sheer stupidity on my part, but I still have one film to develop.

The colours were sublime and ethereal, but whether I have captured that light I will have to wait and see.

I am still unsure of my project, I keep changing my mind and cant seem to settle on a theme or a concept. One minute I'm thinking seascape and its meaning to me, then I think of memory and how the land and I are connected by memory, then I think that it is the light and the colours that inspire me to photograph the land and sea, so maybe I should stick with that. But the images I have shot so far have not really been what I'm looking for. But saying this, I dont know exactly what it is I'm searching to convey in my images.

This is not like me. I am usually more definite about my idea. Yes, its true that at the beginning of every project I do go through a time of uncertainty, but we are now in November and I'm not enjoying the process as much as I have in the past. I love making pictures and I could do this all day, but usually I also enjoy the theory, the history and the ideas. But I seem to be stuck in some no mans land. I feel as though I have no idea what I'm doing in any of the projects.

The External Project is now looming up on me. I had intended to exhibit my work next year and make that my submission for assessment. But now I'm not sure about that either. Do I want to go through all that again? Wouldn't it be more useful to work for a client in some other capacity? I am new here and know very few people, so that's also a problem. I'm not very good at going "out there" and promoting myself. I think at the moment with all the stress and upheaval of the past few months, that I am not in the right place mentally to be able to cope with everything I need to do. I am lacking inspiration. I have no money to travel to see exhibitions of the Great Painters and Photographers and this is also hindering my study. At least it feels like it to me. I would like to visit Galleries in London but it just is not possible at this time. Even Cardiff is out of reach at the moment.

I feel like giving up.  I know I wont and I know I cant because this is important to me. Learning is important to me. I just have to find a way to overcome all these obstacles. I have to try and clear my head of all these negatives and turn them into positives.

Another worry is the Dissertation. We have a3,000 word deadline on Nov 16th. So far I have written zilch. I keep changing my mind about that too. I researched women in landscape photography for a couple of weeks but in all honesty it bored me. The work I found was fantastic, but reading theory on feminism which is, I found inevitable if looking at women in art or in society, is not one that appeals to me. I believe in equality etc but I am not a staunch feminist; I felt that I had read it all before and that my interest just wasn't sufficient to write an 8,000 Dissertation. I couldn't fathom how I would condense the idea either which was another stumbling block.

I feel as though I'm chasing my tail now. What am I going to write about? What interests me? What do I want to find out or discover? Stumped.

Rinko Kawauchi

ILLUMINANCE

Image courtesy of telegraph.co.uk

Notes from ILLUMINANCE by Rinko Kawauchi and David Chandler

Rinko Kawauchi's images depict an internal movement of the single image. She captures a mobility that is contrary to the idea of photography which is normally a static moment of time. They are delicate images where double exposure has been used to achieve a sense of movement. The light is ethereal and gives the impression of a  life that notices every nuance of nature and every fleeting moment of time.

From The Mobile Image by Parveen Adams

"Kawauchis work produces the movement of division within the image."(pg 63)

"... light itself becomes the object of representation - reflection, refraction, flare, focus and shadow. The images play with the repertoire of light" (pg64)

Lecture - Psychoanalysis

This was a very interesting lecture, but it took a lot of concentration to understand the theory. However Tamara gave a good example to help explain it.

She began by telling us that while she was chatting with a group of friends about the recent death of a well known singer in Argentina, her three year old daughter had come into the room and asked "Mummy, why are you crying?" Tamara explained to her daughter that a singer whom she had been very fond of, had died. She told her daughter that one particular song made her happy whenever she heard  it, and that it brought back happy memories of her own childhood. Her daughter had been satisfied with the answer and left the room.

Then a few weeks later while Tamara was out with all her three children, they had become loud, moany and generally difficult to handle. So she thought "I know what I'll do, I'll sing my favourite song that always makes me feel happy so if I am happy then my children will also be happy." She began to sing. Her three year old daughter turned to her and said "Mummy, who has died?" Tamara realised in that instant that something had happened. The song, which to her had conveyed great joy and happiness, had had the extreme opposite effect on her daughter. Tamara associated the song with happiness, but her daughter associated the song with crying and death.


Jacques Lacan (1901 - 1981) said "The unconscious is structured like a language" 

This is an example of SUBJECTIVITY.  It relates to how a subject can have different meanings to different people. There is an association with a person and what that person represents. The association is split between consciousness and the unconscious. The association is relative to what the person has learned through language.

Jacqes Lacan returned to the fundamental concepts of Freud although this made him very unpopular. But his idea was that the subject is an effect of language, and as such is articulated outside himself. What we envy is the Loving Gaze, that the subject outside ourselves desires. He said "Man's desire is the desire of the Other."

The example given in the lecture was that a baby, when he/she is born, has absolutely no control over who looks at him/her. The baby is dressed as his/her mother or guardian wants him to be dressed. The baby has no control over what he eats, when he has a bath etc. To explain further the meaning of "man's desire is the desire of the other," we have to understand that it is the mother or guardian who will impose her desires on the baby, and will dress the baby in a way that is pleasing to the mother.

Anther example would be that there are two brothers. The first brother appears by the second brother to be favoured by the mother. The second brother feels that he gets no attention, and cannot do anything right. In order for the second brother to gain the attention that he seeks, he will deliberately try to find a way to get the first brother into trouble. What this second brother really wants is his mother to look upon him with the "Loving Gaze" that he feels is denied him. He wants to be loved in the same way has his first brother.

This is obviously only a small part of the theory of Psychoanalysis, but this lecture was very clearly articulated and helped me to understand the concept of the "loving gaze." 

Theorists of Psychoanalysis Sigmund Freud, Paul Sartre, Jacques Lacan.

Concept Confusion

I'm in a bit of a quandary at the moment with regard to both my Dissertation and my Personal Project. I'm finding it difficult to pin down exactly what it is I am going to do for both.

I want to write about women landscape photographers, but its not easy to find many that have been written about. Also do I write about my own practice or shall I make it more of a historical study, or a study about landscape itself.

With regard to my personal project, part of me is thinking that I want to make work about the sea and how I feel about it, and what it means to me, but I'm not sure this will work or what my actual concept is. The other part of me feels that maybe I should continue with the work I've been doing on memory, with regard to place and space.

I'm not particularly happy with the images I have shot so far but this is usually the case. It takes time and experiment for me to capture the essence of my concept, and to feel that the images convey the mood and atmosphere I want them to evoke.

My mind is a bit of a minefield at present but this is usually the case when I am at the beginning of a project so I shouldn't beat myself up and just take my time. Art can not be rushed!

Semiotics Analysis - Brief Lecture Notes

The Study of Signs
Analysis of Text and Image
Ferdinand de Saussure (1857 - 1913) - questioned how things were named. Revolutionary Theory of the time. It had been believed that God named things.
Saussure said that language had to be learned, and that signs had to be understood through learning.

Sign = Signifier + Signified

Signifier = Tree
Signified = The idea of a tree.

Each sign is composed of two distinct parts. One physical and one Conceptual.
Language is a symbolic sign system.

Cultural Codes and Conventions = Collective to agree on the meaning

Recommended Book - Harris, Roy (1987) Reading Saussure LONDON Duckworth.

Not all signs have the same collective meaning. A Dove for instance denotes Peace in the UK but not throughout world cultures.

Roland Barthes (1915 - 1980)  Mythologies - elements of semiology.
Polysemic text - open to more than one meaning. To interpret.
The text needs to anchor the meaning.


Second Level of meanings - Emotions - to look at an image and read it through association of the learned.

Visual Metaphor - comparing a sign with another by association or point of similarity.
To convey a message without many words.

METONYM  - LOGOS - one sign that stands for whole company or product as in Volkswagen. Recognisable to many.

How we represent a story affects the person listening or looking. Interpersonal. Compositional.

The Search for 19th Century Women Photographers

Its so frustrating searching for information on Women Photographers of the 19th Century. I've searched in museums, libraries, even the photography gallery has no information that I can find on pioneering women photographers. I have ordered a book by Naomi Rosenblum called History of Women Photographers but I'm not expecting there to be much written about Anna Atkins, Alice Austen, Laura Gilpin and others. As I say it is very frustrating and I am thinking that this could probably be a worthwhile subject to research.

Anna Atkins: The First Woman Photographer (1799 – 1871) 

Images courtesy of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lemons_photogram.jpg

Dissertation Proposal

WORKING TITLE - Broadening Horizons …. An Historic Perspective of Women Landscape Photographers

KEY WORDS - Landscape Photography, Women, History, The photograph, Barthes

STATEMENT OF INTENT - My intention is to study the work of Women Landscape Photographers in an historical context from the 19th Century, to the Contemporary Landscape Photographers of the present day This is of interest to me because I have a passion for the internal and external landscape.

RESEARCH CONTEXTS – The methods of research I will be using are:

·         Visit galleries and museums

·          Research the  Historical context of landscape photography and women

·         Books, Journals, Dissertations

·         On line resources

VISUAL SOURCES – I will be searching for and using images of landscape photography by women from its inception in the 1800's to the more contemporary works of Uta Barth, Roni Horn and others. 

CONNECTIONS BETWEEN PRACTICE AND DISSERTATION

My Dissertation, Personal Project and External Project will all be connected. For my dissertation I am looking at the work of women in landscape photography. For my Personal Project I will be photographing the landscape exploring the connection and relationship that I have to the landscape of my ancestral home. The external project will be an exhibition of my landscape work.

ANNOTATED BIBLIOGRAPHY

Gaston Bachelard The Poetics of Space

Barthes. R (1993) Camera Lucida Vintage London Melbourne Sydney Auckland Johannesburg

Bright.S. (2005) Art Photography Now Thames & Hudson Ltd London

Clarke. G. (1997) The Photograph Oxford History of Art Oxford University Press New York

Cotton.C. (2004) The Photograph as Contemporary Art Thames & Hudson world of art London New York

Andrea Liggins PHD (2005)

Sontag. S. (2008) On Photography Penguin Modern Classic St Ives England

Tilley. C (2004) The Materiality of Stone Explorations of Landscape Phenomenology Berg

Liz Wells Land Matters

Edited by Liz Wells, Kate Newton and Catherine Fehily Shifting Horizons

Personal Project Proposal

TITLE  -  Coming Home

My intention is to photographically explore the connection and relationship that I have to the landscape of my ancestral home. I have long held a desire to return to Wales, and now after over 30 years of living in England, I have been given the opportunity to do so.

Coming home is important to me in many ways; but it is the memory of family and of places visited as a child, that gives me the sense of belonging here  that I have not felt anywhere else.  Living on the coast I feel a great sense of freedom that the sea and the distant horizon evoke in me. A freedom that allows me to be the person I want to be. The land under my feet, and the land and sea that surround  and engage me, are inextricably connected to the past in the greater sense of the word, in the connection to my ancestors, and in the link to my own past.  I have a physical, emotional and spiritual association to Wales.

I will look at the theory of Phenomenology and how it informs my personal practice looking at, for example, Edward Husserl, Paul Satre and Maurice Merleau-Ponty.

I am writing a dissertation about Women Landscape Photographers; I feel it is appropriate as a woman with a passion for landscape photography, to research the work of other women in this field. I will look at the work of Uta Barth for her painterly style of photography and her concepts of the way we see, Roni Horn for her political views of the Thames River and other female artist photographers. In my reading I will include Liz Wells “Land Matters” and “Shifting Horizons,” Charlotte Cotton “the photograph as contemporary art” and a Thesis by Andrea Liggins on the environment (2005).

I enjoy using medium format cameras, in particular the 6x6 format as this is not a common medium for landscape photography. I don’t feel that it is necessary to depict the landscape in the conventional 10x8 form.  I also intend to use plastic cameras as I feel they may give me a more suitable apparatus to evidence the mood I want to create. This mood is of the past, it is memory and story, and may be better photographed with a dream like aesthetic.

Coming Home is intended to convey my deep connection with the land using a meditative and contemplative approach which will express my profound feelings for it.

Exhibition Space at St Ishmael's Church

My neighbour has told me that there is an Exhibition Space at St Ishmael's Church that regularly show Artist work.

Mobile Image of a space at the Church

Film Images

http://www.orielbach.com/#!show/cfvg

A Small Gallery in Mumbles ....I've contacted them with regard to volunteering some time to work with them, and to also find out about exhibiting my work in 2013 as part of my External Major Project.

http://annikaruohonen.com/

Just discovered Annika Ruohonen landscape images on Twitter .....

Coastal Walk

This afternoon I wanted to start photographing my local area and coast line. The theory I am using for my Dissertation and major Project is the "Poetics of Space" by Gaston Bachelard. He uses wonderful, descriptive and poetic words to describe our relationship with Space.

At the beginning of Chapter 8 Infinite Immensity There is a quote by R. M. Rilke The World is large, but in us it is deep as the sea .... and another is by Jules Valles Space has always reduced me to silence.

I walked along the Coast Road Path to St Ishmael's Church. Fortunately there were two women cleaning the church after the  recent Harvest Festival Service and asked if I would like to go into the Church. This I did. I shot some images with my camera and a couple with my Mobile.

Mobile image

I had taken my Medium Format Camera with me to shoot images of the landscape and sea life, but an opportunity to take some shots of the Church was welcome.

I crossed the Railway Track, always a slightly unnerving experience listening as hard as I could to make sure there wasn't a train coming. I sat for a while admiring the views before setting off to walk slowly home along the beach searching intuitively to compose a good image. I wont know if I have succeeded until I have developed the films.

What struck me while I was photographing the magnificent space, was that the mood I was creating was that of solitude. Looking in the view finder, I saw that solitude. It is the freedom of the space that draws me to it, but when I am there it is the solitude that strikes me.

This solitude is not loneliness. Quite the contrary. I feel no sense of loneliness as I walk, but a sense of being together with all that surrounds me. The energy I feel is comforting and safe. I sense the great wonder of all nature that surrounds me and it is this that fills my solitude.

Bachelard writes of Baudelaire using the word "Vast" ... he writes " It is no exaggeration to say that for Baudelaire, the word vast is a metaphysical argument by means of which the vast world and vast thoughts are united. But actually this grandeur is most active in the realm of intimate space. For this grandeur does not come from the spectacle witnessed, but from the unfathomable depths of vast thoughts. 

In his Journauz intimes Baudelaire writes
 "In certain almost supernatural inner states, the depth of life is entirely revealed in the spectacle, however ordinary, that we have before our eyes, and which become the symbol of it." The exterior spectacle helps intimate grandeur unfold. (Bachelard. G. 1994. Beacon Press Boston) (Bachelard. G: 192)

The freedom that I sense in the landscape enables my mind to free itself from all thoughts, to contemplate the land itself with the intention of photographing intuitively how I feel, as opposed to photographing the details of the scene before me.

Lecture Interviews and Questions

This lecture gave advice on how to form a question, not only for interviews, but also as a guideline for research and dissertations.

It is important to communicate to others exactly what it is you want to find out. For example asking Have you all had breakfast? instead of What did you have for breakfast this morning? implies that you are asking whether you have ever had breakfast; asking What did you have for breakfast this morning? phrases the question so that the answers you are given relate to exactly what you want to know.

The best researchers and best thinkers challenge perceptions.

• Questions are the basis of knowledge, skills and talent. 
• Questions inform and influence. 
• Questions help to build up evidence to form an argument.
• It is important to be fair and unbiased and to ask answerable questions.
• Questions that have a yes or no response or that are too general will not be useful
• Make introductions clear - what is it you want to achieve
• Explore and Propose

• Be consistent and Ethical
• Observe Facts
• Spot Patterns
• Build Theories
• Allow for a range of Responses using Guidelines (e.g. Disagree/Agree on a Scale of 1 - 7)

Question why people hold the views they hold - your subject needs depth and different views from different people/theorists/philosophers.

This was an informed and useful lecture which tied in with the Writing Workshop we had with Mary. Both discussed the conclusion of your enquiry or dissertation as a tool to being clear about what it is you want to find out about your subject, and as a means to focus your writing.

Annie Leibovitz: Powerful Images

Roni Horn Short Interview

Watch and Listen: photography: Roni Horn: _Still Water (The River Thames for Example)_

Writing Workshop with Mary Davies-Turner

Writing a Dissertation ......... How to Begin.....

The Concept is the idea and the Context gives meaning to a concept in its Historical, Social, Cultural and Political sense. This is how our session began. Mary spoke about introducing the concept, and to then begin to develop the ideas. She discussed finding first the "Big Words" that relate to the concept, and to break them down so that you gain a better understanding of the theory. It is then much easier to define and understand how that theory relates to your own practice, and to gaining a clear insight into how that concept informs your practice and your writing

To begin a Dissertation it is a good idea to first think about your conclusion. What is it you want to find out? With a clear vision of your intent, it is much easier to then discuss is your dissertation how you want to structure your essay, and have a better understanding of how to develop that essay.

When thinking about Chapters, it is  a good idea to first think about what you want to convey within the chapter and how it will lead on the next chapter. Think "where am I going with this?"

If you find yourself getting lost when writing paragraphs within the chapters, thinking about your conclusion will return you to your focus.

At the end of the session, Mary invited us to write for ten minutes using "Free Writing Techniques" This proved to be an excellent system to free your mind. Writing with no thought of structure or ideas. I have used Automatic Writing in my work since I researched the Surrealists, Free Writing is the same.

Here is the content of my Free Writing exercise..... thinking about the theme of my dissertation Women Landscape Photographers .......

Why do men and women photograph the landscape in different styles? Male images are more technically defined, sharper and with more detail. Women are more inclined to make pictures that are more emotional and emanate from a deeper place within. So how can I understand this? What do I need to research? Do I compare and contrast or do I concentrate my writing on how women see the world around them? What is important to them and to me? 

As a woman landscape photographer what is it about the land that draws me to it? Is it the beauty, is it the connection with a higher energy, is it the feeling of immense freedom that accompanies and attaches itself to me when my feet are grounded on the earth? I love how the sand is soft and gets between my toes, I love too, the firmness of the land beneath my feet, it makes me feel secure. The sky and land both change constantly and this resonates with me as I feel that I am also changing all the time.  The ebb and flow of the sea mimics within me.

I feel a belonging to the land, the past is ever present and right there with me, as is the present and the future.

It is hard to explain how freedom takes its form within me, and outside f me. The infinity of the horizon, the vast space that encompasses me as a small being, a few atoms joined together, forming me. 

I am standing in the vast open space that is the earth in a universe in a galaxy. The huge dimensions are impossible to imagine but somehow when I walk on the land, I do feel this infinite space as being part of me and I of it. The vastness of it is the attraction, is the freedom.

My freedom is my imagination. I can imagine and visualise anything in this huge space around me. The land looks alien when I study it, when I really look and see nothing . From nothing comes something. Part of the freedom is that I can look out at the horizon and know that I am of the world, but here I don't have to be part of anything except to know that I am a human being listening to the sounds of the earth and being .... just being.

The ten minutes came to an end .... I was, and am amazed that with very little thought about what I was writing, there came snippets of information will be helpful and inform my practice. There are questions that I can research. I felt that this exercise is incredible useful and I will use it to help me write my dissertation. Freedom of the mind is a wonderful tool to use.