I sometimes find that people can have a negative effect on me in ways that nature never does. I had had one such episode a week or so ago. A day that I wished had never happened. But it did, and I had to deal with it. The events of the day are not something that I want to share. It was a consequence of my own low self esteem, and the darkness of depression that can overwhelm me at any time. Others', especially those who don't know me, don't understand my behaviour. I may seem rude and unapproachable, but inside it is a sense of worthlessness that makes me unable to contribute to what is going on around me. At times like these, I end up feeling ashamed and foolish; I just want to hide from the world. And this is what I do. The following two days I stayed at home never straying outside my front door for fear that I would do the same again.
In time with the encouragement and love of family and friends, I slowly begin to feel stronger. The fog around me slowly turns to mist, and then thankfully disappears again so that I can function as the kind of human being that I like to be.
Another of my healing strategies is that I take my camera out into the countryside, and usually I sit, I watch and I listen.
Nature is a healing place. I watched two birds playing, dancing, flying in the air above me. I was mesmorised by them. I've tried to identify them but haven't had any luck. They had a distinctive tail that separated into two parts ... as I watched them, they reminded me of my children. That's when the thought that Love is the greatest gift of all came to my mind, and I knew these birds where a reminder of that. I had been thinking that as a mother there are things I should have done that I didn't do, that I could have been a better mother .... a train of thoughts that only made me feel worse about myself. This is when the two birds appeared to remind me that I love my children more than life itself, and that they love me.
more Words of Comfort came to me .........
These are not poetic words, I am not writing a poem, these are how the words came into my mind as I sat and enjoyed the world of nature around me.
Put your fears to bed little one
You are loved
Forget not the love you give
In good and bad times
There is a knock on the door
It is love, welcome it into your heart
It will never leave
Go out into the world
I will sheild you
With love
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