Sensing Something....

I have been drawn to Laugharne twice this week. The home of our great Writer and Poet, Dylan Thomas. The village is a favourite place of mine to visit, but my feeling is that there is a reason why I'm being drawn there.

I spend much of my time alone; at weekends I often feel a little lost because I just don't know what to do with myself. Fortunately having moved back to Wales, I am surrounded by nature, and old and ancient stones castles and buildings..... so I either go for walks in my local area, or I take the car and drive somewhere, anywhere....

Laugharne Castle

Today I got in the car and headed north towards the Preseli Hills. I passes through Ludchurch, Llandislio, Efailwen, Clunderwen, Llanboidy, St Clears and numerous villages in between, stopping a few times to take in the beauty of the land in this Autumn season.

But ultimately I ended up in Laugharne.... I parked the car and walked through the woodland, stopped and listened to the birds... and asked "why do I keep coming here?" The only word repeated in my head was "write, write, write....." I said "what should I write?" "I don't know anything" "I have no idea what to write about" .... so this is where I am....perplexed. I do love to write, I always have. But my writing isn't anything special. I can blog about this and that, but it isn't really of any interest to anyone else. I just do it because I enjoy it.  "I enjoy it" There is my answer ...and it is true that I am searching for another passion and something to do with my time. But still I don't know what to write about ... find a topic.... create a sketch book ... ponder...procrastinate.... all that and more....

Boats on the Estuary

Here's a link to Dylan Thomas Boathouse website http://www.dylanthomasboathouse.com/ should you be interested in reading more about the place and the poet.

On my drive through the small lanes, I came across this church. I didn't want to go any closer today but I liked the way it looked from its gate so I took a picture.

Filling the Cracks with Gold ...

A friend shared this on FB ... I love it.. its such a beautiful way to highlight the beauty of everything....

Aberfan... 49 years

On October 21st 1966, devastation hit the small town of Abervan in South Wales. I was 6 at the time, but old enough to understand the overwhelming sadness of the tragedy. A cousin of my mother's lived in Merthy Tydfil then. We visited him and I remember him being a broken man at this time. His shoulders stooped with the heavy weight everyone felt at losing 116 children and 5 teachers from Pantglas Junior School, and 23 other adults.

One story I recall, although I'm not certain it is accurate, was of a teacher trying to protect some of the children, they were sheltering under his desk and were found huddled together. The memory, whether true or not has stayed with me and always will.

Here is a link to the story http://www.healeyhero.co.uk/rescue/pits/Aberfan/Aberfan2.htm



It is said that some of the parents in Aberfan still wait for their children to come home from school.

Simplicity and Sheep

I was surprised to find that the symbolic meaning of sheep is simplicity and vulnerability. Its odd how nature in its many forms, highlights aspects of life as it is in the moment. When I was out with my camera yesterday, I was fascinated by the sheep grazing in the field just down the road from my home a.nd I watched them for a while. The one with the black face was very curious, he came to the gate as if to say hello! There were 5 sheep in all, none of the others took the blindest bit of notice of me, they kept on grazing. 

I have always believed that simplicity makes for great art; so maybe the symbolic sheep was telling me to strive further for this, or to stop making life so complicated and return to a simple way of thinking. Maybe I feel too vulnerable at times and that I should seek strength and courage to live a better life.

I am certain that everything has meaning. A spark of an idea can appear from nowhere ... inspiration can come from anywhere; I read that inspiration comes from the journey...the doing of... and I have found this to be true. If I am working on a project, the beginning is always difficult and I have found that the best way to start is to focus on anything, because from something comes something else.... and so it continues. Being inspired does not mean to wait until something inspires you, that may never happen. Doing brings its own inspiration....

Autumn is full of sumptuous, gorgeous colours..... inspiration all around....

The Comfort of Words

I sometimes find that people can have a negative effect on me in ways that nature never does. I had had one such episode a week or so ago. A day that I wished had never happened. But it did, and I had to deal with it. The events of the day are not something that I want to share. It was a consequence of my own low self esteem, and the darkness of depression that can overwhelm me at any time. Others', especially those who don't know me, don't understand my behaviour. I may seem rude and unapproachable, but inside it is a sense of worthlessness that makes me unable to contribute to what is going on around me. At times like these, I end up feeling ashamed and foolish; I just want to hide from the world. And this is what I do. The following two days I stayed at home never straying outside my front door for fear that I would do the same again. 

In time with the encouragement and love of family and friends, I slowly begin to feel stronger. The fog around me slowly turns to mist, and then thankfully disappears again so that I can function as the kind of human being that I like to be.

Another of my healing strategies is that I take my camera out into the countryside, and usually I sit, I watch and I listen. 

Nature is a healing place. I watched two birds playing, dancing, flying in the air above me. I was mesmorised by them. I've tried to identify them but haven't had any luck. They had a distinctive tail that separated into two parts ... as I watched them, they reminded me of my children. That's when the thought that Love is the greatest gift of all came to my mind, and I knew these birds where a reminder of that. I had been thinking that as a mother there are things I should have done that I didn't do, that I could have been a better mother ....  a train of thoughts that only made me feel worse about myself. This is when the two birds appeared to remind me that I love my children more than life itself, and that they love me. 

On this day, a beautiful sunny Autumn day,
more Words of Comfort came to me .........

These are not poetic words, I am not writing a poem, these are how the words came into my mind as I sat and enjoyed the world of nature around me.

Put your fears to bed little one
You are loved
Forget not the love you give
In good and bad times
There is a knock on the door
It is love, welcome it into your heart
It will never leave
Go out into the world
I will sheild you
With love

National Poetry Day

William Wordsworth's Poem "I wandered lonely as a cloud..." will always be one of my favourite poems...

Penny Davies Image shot on Lubitel 120mm camera using Agfa film. 

I wandered lonely as a cloud

That floats on high o'er vales and hills,

When all at once I saw a crowd,

A host, of golden daffodils;

Beside the lake, beneath the trees,

Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine

And twinkle on the milky way,

They stretched in never-ending line

Along the margin of a bay:

Ten thousand saw I at a glance,

Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they

Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:

A poet could not but be gay,

In such a jocund company:

I gazed—and gazed—but little thought

What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils.

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