A Little Uncertain

I've been working on my Visual Journal and I'm feeling a little uncertain about my project. As I write and add my images, all I feel about the project is that it is full of my own emotion. The landscape is an expression of how I feel, not only about the past and memories, but about how it reflects my emotions on any particular day.

When I look at others' work, they seem to be able to make clear what their project is about. The landscape is itself an ambiguous subject to portray. Everyone has their own ideas, feelings and thoughts about what the landscape means to them.

I have returned home to Wales after many years living in England and the joy for me is being able to immerse myself in familiar territory. The significance of history is never far away, every turn has a castle or a landmark that is vivid in its history and has meaning for me. But to explain in images how the land makes me feel, how its history is embedded in every blade of grass and every tree is almost an impossible task. I wish I had settled on something more solid, a certain era, the myths and legends, a place or the castles. Now the hand in is nearing and I feel less clear about what I am trying to convey than I did at the beginning.

Images shot on Diana F Camera using 120mm Black n White Ilford Delta 400 Film

Everything is a work in progress and maybe this is only the beginning of my journey. It feels that way.

I am concerned about how I am going to explain my project during the assessment, and also if my images are good enough. I am feeling despondent. The picture making process seems to have taken a down turn and the images I have produced lately are not as good as the images I shot nearer the beginning of the work.

Maybe its life itself that has become a stumbling block to my creativity. I feel pressurised to make the work into something that it is not. It is spiritual in nature, it is full of emotion and sensitivity, it is what it is and I cant make it into anything else.