Critique

We had a crit yesterday afternoon. I don't enjoy these sessions as they always make me feel that I'm not good enough. My work is "aesthetically pleasing" (a comment that felt sarcastic as opposed to complimentary) because I search for the beauty in the landscape and in my surroundings. I am a sensitive soul who has seen and suffered ugliness in life and I search for beauty because it makes me feel joyful and good. I know that the art world prefers reality, gritty reality, and that my work is frowned upon by many who want images to be political, and to reflect the world and society as it is now.

It was said that I need to add something to my images; titles, text, something that would make the concept clearer. I agree with this is some respects. I had asked myself if the images could stand alone or if I needed to add something to them. Obviously I do. But the critique was that I should add something to them that was relevant to today, to make a political statement about how things have changed since I was growing up in the 1960's and 70's.

It is true that there have been times when I have felt frustrated because the owner of the land I've been walking on has asked me politely to leave because I was trespassing. Or the owner has told me that I can walk but that I am not allowed to take photographs. Or I have had to ask for permission to take photographs as I was well aware that I was being watched on CCTV. This does annoy me. Why do the owners have to make restrictions. Of course this is naivety on my part. To me land is free. But of course in reality it is not. Landowners are very territorial and protective of their land. Most of the owners who ask me to leave are not Welsh, they are aliens who have bought land here and want to keep it to themselves. I understand that not everyone is like me. Not everyone cherishes the landscape as I do. Some people, usually the minority, are inconsiderate, they drop litter, they frighten the animals, they steal and destroy. My naivety is my downfall. I see the land as belonging to all, but things are very different now in 2013, than they were in 1968 or 1973......

My art reflects what is inside me. I can only make work that pleases me. This is a result of my past, my childhood, the importance of family, the respect I feel for those generations long gone but never forgotten, and the land where I grew up. It is also an escape from reality. For me, the suffering of the world that surrounds me every day is not something that I want to report, or photograph. I am a photographic artist, not a journalist. This may prove to be my downfall and I may not make any mark on the world with my art. But does that matter? I enjoy being out with my camera, alone with my thoughts, sharing in natures beauty, listening to the spirits of the woods, listening to the birds chirping, being rewarded with the sight of a falcon or an owl or a squirrel. These are the things, that are important to me and that make my life worth living.

I am a spiritual being, I listen to the wind because it speaks to me, I listen to the ebb and flow of the sea, I marvel at the stars in the sky. When I listen and use my intuition I feel that I am rewarded, that nature allows me to share in all its beauty is something that warms me. I feel safe in nature, I don't feel safe around people.

It has not been a particularly good day. I developed two of my films and ruined them; I'm not sure what I did but I think I used too much developer and timed the process wrong. There were potentially a few good images on there and I am pretty devastated.

Film gone wrong .....

Such a waste of film .....